Are we expecting too much from our children?
Expectations from children are a tricky issue, as too much or too little can itself prove to be a mistake. When parents expect too much from their kids, they do not realize that they are discouraging as well as pressurizing them.
As parents we always want our children to learn things fast, to achieve the best and to present themselves decently, but it the race of raising a well behaved and well doing child we forget that not every child is same and that over burden of expectations can stress our kids.
Every child has its own caliber of learning things and performing at different areas of life, which is why expecting a child to excel in studies like his friend or sibling is expecting too much.
There are certain ways to find out if parents are expecting or want too much from their toddlers or teens and the best way is to judge our demands. Ask yourself if you expect your child to maintain silence all the time when you are at home, do you keep asking your child to act like grownup all the time, do you get irritated when your child feels shy and scold them for it, do you expect your 2 year old to understand that playing indoors could harm expensive furniture or show pieces or do you often find your child’s emotional outburst embarrassing and keep telling him ‘don’t cry, you are not a baby anymore”.
A major aspect of child development is to understand the child, his behavior and psychological side. Not every child learns to be social, extrovert and emotional stable when their parents want them to.
Biggest mistake parents do is to expect their child to understand everything they want or ask for as well as to show disappointment and frustration, when the kid fails to meet their demands.
Often, when a child fails to get the grades his parents are hoping for or when he fails to become social and talk like grownups, he becomes sad, discouraged and even a victim of depression and low self esteem.
Before we start expecting something, we need to asses the capabilities and potential of our children. As parents, it’s our duty to treat our children as children and should give them time to learn things, grow and to perform better. Parents are supposed to be the guide and cheerleaders of their kids, thus should be more supportive and less pressurizing.
Expecting something from a child is not a bad thing, but expecting too much is. Expect right things from your child and motivate your child enough, so as he can meet your needs. Tell your child that you expect him to do well in his school or when visiting relatives, but even if he fails to do so or faces a problem in doing so you are still very proud of him and know that he will learn soon, also tell him that he can always turn to you when facing any problem or doubt or trouble.
If you child is too much a cry baby, don’t taunt him for not being able to fit in with your expectations. Instead, talk to him/her, ask him/her and help him/her. Reason why most of the children fail to meet the expectations of their parents is, because parents sometimes ask for too much, because on failing the disappointment shown by their parent disheartens them enough, to destroy their inner confidence and because they need help.
