In what way parents go wrong, when boosting confidence of their children?
Parents love their children and thus, when they do things to boost confidence of their kids there is nothing but good intention. But even things done with right motives can do harm if not accessed and calculated for the consequences.
Boosting confidence is a major thing and needs right thinking and planning, not that only some kids or age group needs motivation and assurance, but sometimes wrong approach can cause a total failure. Right approach is the key to a successful confidence boosting, as it motivates, psychological strengthens as well as inculcates a responsibility towards doing things the right way.
Never praise a child for something wrong, if your child failed in his exams you need to support him and push his falling morals by saying words like ‘don’t worry, work hard and I’m sure next time you will succeed’ but wrong method of boosting confidence would be over praising, such as you telling your child that so what if he failed, he is good and can do things perfect anytime he want. Let your child see the reality of losing, support him to work hard and do not praise him for a failure.
Another wrong way of approaching confidence boosting is to give examples of siblings or friends. Often, parents make a mistake of comparing their child with siblings or friends or a child in neighborhood with intent of making them see the efforts put in by others, but this approach always backfire as it discourage kids and feel low about them. Giving example of another kid puts a kid in a low frame of mind, where he tends to feel that his parents are unhappy with him and that he is a case of good for nothing.
Make sure that when you praise or encourage your child you mean it. Children can feel the honesty in their parent voice and actions, thus a fake smile or words of encouragement will only lower tier confidence. Do not praise them while you are busy doing your work and have no time to even look into their eyes. Hug them or give them a big smile when you say ‘you can do it’ or ‘am proud of you’. Encourage them only when you really mean it.
When your intention is to boost self esteem and morals of your child, then do it without any ‘if’ or ‘but’. Do not blend a good praise with criticism and sarcasm. Do it with all your love and affection and leave the statements like ‘but it could have been different’ or ‘it’s not that good either’ for later.
Boosting a child for his achievements or pumping up his self-confidence is a good thing and a must in a child development process, but parents need use the right approach to make it a success.
