What are the top 5 ways to handle sibling rivalry?q
Parents often feel the frustration of being a referee between their children when they start fighting. Sibling rivalry is a natural behavior shown by siblings either to crave attention of their parents or to deal with their own insecurity or personality. Parents can always deal with such behavior by making their children feel their importance.
While stopping sibling rivalry is important as it can be annoying and embarrassing (when takes places in public), it is also essential in order to control its long term effect. When overlooked, sibling rivalry can cause psychological effect on children making them adopt negative feelings for each other.
The best way to avoid sibling rivalry among children is to make them friends even before the birth. When you let your child get acquainted with the coming baby, you make them friends and thus lessen down the possibility of sibling rivalry. Let them be prepared that they are soon going to be welcoming a brother or sister and that they will be each other’s friend. Let your older child take responsibility of the new even before the birth, by telling them that the new baby is his/her responsibility; he or she is responsible for taking care and for loving new baby.
Never let them feel that you are taking sides, as this can make them envy the other one. When trying to end a dispute hear them both, give attention to both and instead of punishing one let both of them feel sorry for the fight. Remind the elder one of his/her being the responsible one and younger that he or she needs to respect the other one.
Spend equal time with both of them as well as do not taunt or scold one sibling in front of the other one, this could act as a fuel in the rivalry. Give individual attention to their wants, needs, education and sports. Talk to each one about what is going on with their life, how was their day and ask them if there is anything troubling them. Play with them together, but spend individual time on their communication, school work and personal talks.
Give your children tasks that require team work, often such games or tasks where siblings have to work together bond them and bring them closer. Play a game where you and your husband are a team and your sibling another, make sure you lose as this will give them a chance to celebrate with each other, to enjoy the company of each other as well as make them learn to work as a team.
Lastly, don’t treat your children equally as not every child is same and has same requirements. You might have one child well in academics and other one doing really bad with grades, when such situation comes you should not expect the same result from both of them. Expecting the same result, achievement or behavior from one child by giving example of other one makes thing worse as it inculcates enviousness, jealousy as well as low self esteem. Never give example of older one to younger one and visa versa.
Parents can deal with sibling rivalry without panicking, as all they need is to understand their kids and what’s going on inside them. More than half of the cases of sibling rivalry are due to the inability to give equal attention to both the children.
