Sometimes, only Love is not enough for a happy marriage
People in love often feel that things go wrong in their marriage when there is no love left between two people and it is on this reason alone that they use and blame for their troubled marriages. In such cases, spouses mostly end up seeking marriage counseling just with the hope of revive the lost love.
What marriage counseling does is it teaches that love is not the only thing to keep relationship going on. Often, marriage counseling helps two people in relationship by telling them about other important ingredients of a happy marriage, which are often overlooked under the myth ‘love is all you need’.
Concern, care, commitment, honesty, space, value, position and respect are major elements that along with love build a healthy and happy marriage. Absence of any of these elements means problems.
Good marriage counseling works by finding out what element is missing and from whose side. It also helps a couple in balancing love and other essential elements in the right way to make sure that marriage goes right.
Problem like infidelity is frequently linked to loss of love between two people, but marriage counseling tells that it’s more than just lost affection. Often people in counseling are asked to focus more on quotients like faith, trust, dominance, sex and freedom. Usually an episode of unfaithfulness can be either because one partner is more dominant, less understanding, gives no space or freedom, hides things or is involved in an affair too, which is why marriage counseling teaches that love is not all that makes or breaks a relationship.
Many marriage counselors believe that falling in and out of love is more of myth, as no relationship can survive for long if there is no respect, no space, a controlling partner and no understanding. Marriage counseling open s up the locked door of communication between couples, as in a lot of martial problems lost communication is the cause of crisis.
Conflicts arise not when love is lost but when understanding is lost and expectations become too high. Marriage counseling deals with how a couple can set equilibrium between love and understanding, love and honesty, love and freedom, love and respect, love and obsession and so on.
Marriage counseling tells that you might be still in love with each other but lies to each other or is unable to talk to each other, thus proving that love is not enough. Often, people in a counseling are found saying ‘I love her/him but I don’t know why I get so angry’ or ‘I love her but I cant let her wear this’ or ‘I love him but I cant bear staying all alone when he is gone for work trips’.
These ingredients of a happy marriage make marriage counseling a great investment towards making a relationship work, as it deals with everything that is missing when love is still there.
