How to be friends after break-up?

Have you recently broken up with your ex, but would still like to be friends with him/her? Befriending your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is not a big deal and is quite possible, but it requires some rules to be followed and taken care off.

Firstly, you can’t be friends if you still have feeling for your ex, which is why it is important that you get over him or her prior to the attempt of being friends. It is better you give each other some time and space to clear the air of misunderstanding and hard times that caused the break-up. take some time to recover from the break-up feeling, go gel with old friends and family, find a whole new meaning of life, pamper yourself with lot so fun, adventure and shopping and go dating. Once you are living again and feel nothing but positive, you are ready to be friends with anyone, even with your ex.

You need a time for killing any revengeful feelings you’ve got stored against your ex, for getting over him/her completely as well as to heal the pain caused by the separation.

Remember being friends with ex isn’t a bad idea, unless your ex has something else on his or her mind. Find out what your ex thinks about the whole friendship thing, let him or her know about your intentions of being there as a friend and nothing more.

You can start by calling him or her for a small talk, ask him/her about work, invite him or her for a party with common friends and avoid any old talks, before you disconnect do make sure that you say something like “had good time with you, hope we can be friends”. make sure you do not call frequently, try to be supportive of their decisions and work, give him/her signs that you are a changed person now and if he or she talks of finding a date, be encouraging.

While you are busy building a friendship between you and your ex, do not ignore your own needs. Develop new interest, go on dating, spend time with your friends as much as possible, busy yourself with a new hobby and if not working, get a job. Because if you are not keeping yourself, busy, happy and in a positive frame of mind, chances are that your effort to be friends could throw you in a turbulence of mixed feelings for your ex.

There is a ‘things not to do’ list that you need to follow to ensure that you do not mess up your effort of building a friendly relation with your ex such as, keeping a limit on your calling, not calling every day, no late night calls and avoiding emotional talks remembering old times.
And to conclude it all, the things you should never do should be to curse him/her for everything and a big ‘No’ to romantic or sexual talks with your ex. All this should be avoided ‘coz you don’t want to freak him/her out or make yourself fall in love with him/her again.

This entry was posted on Monday, December 22nd, 2008 at 6:22 am and is filed under Relationship Issues. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.