How to tell your kids about your divorce?
Divorce is a painful experience, not just for the people who are being separated, but also for their children. Often, if not handled well, situations like divorce leaves children feeling sore and angry about marriages and relationships. Thus, it is important that you let your child know why it happened and how will it affect them.
Telling kids about divorce isn’t easy at all, as you can expect them to either judge you or go wild about being separated from one of the parent. Kids want their parents to be together and love them impartially, but seeing a situation of divorce breaks their heart and pushes them in fear of being less loved or losing one of the parents.
Thus, when telling your kids about divorce you need to assure them that irrespective of being separated you and your partner will love him/her like always and that he/she can meet them both anytime. It is important to let your kids know that you still love them and will be there for them24/7.
Often, some children develop a feeling of being the reason for your divorce and start blaming them self. They would tell you that they won’t fight anymore or keep their room unclean and that you don’t have to take a divorce. That’s when you need to let your kids know that it isn’t their fault and that they are really special for you.
Sit with your child, if possible both of you, and let them ask you questions about why and how it happened. Do not start any blame game and spill mud on each other; this would destroy your kid’s faith in a family. Just give them a decent reason for why you can’t stay together anymore and how it would be better that you both love him/her by staying away. Make sure you are honest with your kids, because finding a truth later on would harm your relationship, as already your kid is going through a phase where he or she is unhappy and upset with you both.
Try to understand their state of emotional stress and do not yell at them for crying, being little rude or hateful towards you. Let them express their rage and welcome the questions they have. Tell them how things going to change now and when they can meet the other parent.
For first few weeks or months, try to be available to them as a family and let your partner (the one who is going away) come and visit your kids at home or somewhere outside on frequent basis.
While there are a few rare divorce cases where you cannot let your child meet your ex, if both of you are sensible, this cannot happen to you. If the marriage broke over something that was between you and your partner and all this while your partner was nice to your kids, it is better that you both work together to let your kids accept the huge family change.
